117th entry:

went to the wake. cant believed what i see. it's so hard to take it. tho i wasn't close to her mum, but she has been nice to me. the images of her, alive and living a few months ago, during cny is so real. no one will expect this to happen to her. i still rmb the first time seeing her mum, first time going to her house for cny. everything seemed so fine when the cancerous cells were atacking her. three years. for three whole years.

sigh. i cried. i cried at the wake. seeing her photo isnt pleasant. i din expect myself to feel that way. but i did. i felt very very sad. have been tearing for the past two days. today's the third day that im tearing. sigh. rushing PI now. update some other day.